Networking Events for Women

Antler, a Boston-based experiential and digital marketing agency, recently posted a listing of great networking events for women around the country. I thought it was a great resource, so check it out!

Cool Event Spotlight: Women's Networking Events

Cool Event Spotlight is a blog series that highlights cool and interesting events around the country.

About one year ago there was an article posted in the UK Times that caught my attention and has been bothering me ever since. The article claimed that women are bad networkers because we are less capable of showcasing our talents then men. There are countless reasons to network and if women are, in fact, less than effective at networking then we need to start practicing. To get you started in the right direction, here is a short list of great female networking groups and/or events around the country.

Boston

• Girls Pint Out: We were recently introduced to the ladies of Girls Pint Out and became instant fans. These ladies know a thing (or 10) about beer and have put together a unique group that mixes networking with something we love… beer! Stay tuned for some upcoming networking events in March and April.
• Wonder Women of Boston: Whether you work in the corporate or non-profit world, are a community leader, entrepreneur, job-seeker, or student, Wonder Women of Boston is a fantastic place to make connections with ambitious and accomplished women of all ages. We hope you already signed up for their event on February 24th here at Antler HQ; however, if you were slow to the punch you can sign up here to be added to the wait list.

New York

• Stylefixx: Join New York City’s most fashion-forward women for two nights of dream shopping, featuring over 55 cutting-edge designers and brands. This event is an opportunity to connect with various consumer brands and the women who love them. Don’t forget your business cards, and try (we said try) not to get so caught up in shopping that you forget to network! (This event also takes place in Boston, Chicago, DC, Atlanta, and LA)

• Urban Girl Squad: A social group for women in their 20s and 30s who love to try new things, spend time with friends, and meet new people in New York City.

San Francisco

• Girls in Tech: A social networking group focused on the engagement, education and empowerment of professional and influential women in technology. Girls in Tech also has chapters in Atlanta, Boston, Chicago, Houston, LA, Miami, NY, Washington, DC, and many other cities around the country. Check in with your local chapter for a list of events.
• Business Builder networking program (presented by StartOut): One of StartOut’s main goals is to connect gay and lesbian entrepreneurs. For aspiring entrepreneurs, this means meeting others who may also be looking to start or build up a business. For current entrepreneurs, this means meeting others who can provide opportunities, advice and other resources to help them build and grow their businesses.

Houston

• Women & Wine on Wednesdays: A group that meets monthly for building new relationships – both professionally and personally. It provides an opportunity for women to share resources and discover new opportunities in the Houston area while enjoying great local venues and sipping wine.
• Fabulous Working Ladies of Houston: Each month, one of the group’s members gets to do a spotlight presentation about herself, her business, her charity, her career or other approved topic. This is a great group for women who juggle careers, companies, children, families and homes and the demands of everyday life.

Chicago

• Junior League of Chicago: An organization of women committed to promoting volunteerism. Proceeds of all events help fund community projects and volunteer training programs. One of our favorite events is the Summer Soiree, a golf-themed evening where women can enjoy food, cocktails, silent auction, raffle, photo booth and putting games all while schmoozing with other influential Chicagoans.
• Flirty Girl Fitness: This is a women-only fitness and lifestyle facility, which is transformed each weekend into a social club for women complete with a fully licensed bar! They open the facility several times a year for member appreciation parties and networking events for women.

Miami

• Fabulous South Florida Women: This is a group of positive, progressive women from various ethnic backgrounds. The group organizes luncheons, plays, community volunteer events, dinners, movies, girls night out, festivals, concerts, and a Monthly Business Networking Event.
• The Women’s International Film Festival: This event takes place every year in Miami. Participants enjoy national film premieres, fashion shows, visual arts, panel discussions, workshops, and other artistic expressions – by women, for women, and about women.

Lady in Red

When T told me I wasn't allowed to wear my red dress to my interview, I jokingly told her that while it may not be an interview outfit, it could certainly be a first day outfit.

So I've decided follow through on that joke and sport my bright red "Joan" dress from Zara with black tights and black flats.

I've chosen this for a pretty simple reason: it makes me feel confident. Any first day is nerve wracking and stressful; so, I need something to make me feel comfortable and "ready to take on the world."

I've also chosen it because I've worn it before. I went on a little shopping spree on my week off between jobs, but I wouldn't dream of wearing a brand new outfit to a first day. There's nothing worse than finding out a skirt rides up your butt every time you walk when you're trying to make first impressions. That's recipe for hives and high blood pressure.

What's your ideal first day outfit?

Who is John Galt?

First of all, I'd like to apologize for my accidental hiatus this week! One week off from work puts my head in the clouds for sure. But I've been wanting to write about the new movie, Atlas Shrugged, opening in theatres on April 15. When I saw the first tweet with the trailer, I was giddy as a child.

My mild infatuation with Ayn Rand (author of Atlas Shrugged, 1957) began in high school when this one boy who I disdained (but also crushed on) challenged me to read it. He said it would change my life, and it did. To give you a little background, Rand was one of the most confident, intelligent, logical women I've ever come across.

She founded her own philosophy, called Objectivism, which in an overly simplified description holds that reality is an objective absolute, independent of man's hopes; man's only source of knowledge is reason and logic; man must exist for his own sake, not for the sake of any other person; and the ideal political-economic system is a laissez-faire capitalism.

And yes, Rand always spoke using "man" not "woman." Oddly enough, for how powerful she perceived herself to be, she held men on a pedestal. In all of her books, the male is the hero, not the woman. The leading lady is always strong and smart, but she still needs the man. Then again, he seems to need her too.

I always use this example from her biogrophy to describe just how ridiculous she is. She decided that she wanted to have an affair with her biogropher's husband. So she simply convinced, the biogropher, the husband and her own husband to be okay with it. She said, very logically of course, that the other guy was better than her husband - may the best man win. They all went with it!

Okay so enough of my psycho-babble! My point is, go read the book because I'm worried they're not going to come even close to doing it justice on the big screen. But if your too lazy to read all 1368 pages, then go watch the movie. :)

Tennis in Ads

Here's an advertisement for a vacuum. It uses a female tennis athlete vacuuming. Step forward: we used a female athlete. Step backword: she's still doing what the typical "stay at home wife" does, clean.

Ad Cap: Sky, I Returned

Found this advertisement for Sky Television this morning on Ads of the World. Here they show the husband coming home from traveling and the wife is all excited to greet him. First off the wife is supermodel Gisele Bündchen. So not only is the man coming home to one darn gorgeous wife, but she's dressed in a lacy little dress doing chores. This one hits home to me. When my boyfriend comes back from work (which is four months at a time since he's a fisherman) I casually act as though the cute outfit I am wearing is something I wear everyday. I blow out my hair, I put on jewelry he's gotten me, and just like her I go about my day acting as though everything is completely normal.

However, this ad has a twist. It's funny, for a man, but it would really piss me off if this happened to me. Just saying. But as an ad, it's successful in targeting men, it's funny and it shows one hell of a hot woman. Watch and see.

Inspired by: Audrey Hepburn

"Why change? Everyone has his own style. When you have found it, you should stick to it." - Audrey Hepburn

(Reposted from The Love List)

Ass Cam?

A coworker sent me this one on Boston Egotist today. Interesting, not sure though if people are just going "what on earth is in her pocket" though, or actually checking out her butt.

Your call.

Hello neighbor

Well thank you, T, but you forgot to mention that you may also be leaving the boys club for a much bigger firm around the corner from me. Hopefully (very soon) I will still get to criticize you on mid-week lunch dates and after work bevs! :)

So Long K (not really)

Here's my chance to by sappy. Today is the last day that K and I will be in the same office together. She is moving on to a much bigger firm for a very cool opportunity and I am so excited for her.

What I am not excited about is the upcoming battle for me. At our current office the boy's club has been a constant battle (if you couldn't already tell). Together K, myself, and one other strong woman played our cards and wedged ourselves right in there. The other woman was the first to go a week ago, now K. I am officially the only woman left that even bothers to deal with the men's club, and I just wonder how that's going to work out for me.

K is an unbelievable, hard working strong woman. I know that the next place she goes she will stand just as tall as she did hear. No matter what the challenge, whether it's a new boy's club or something else, I have complete faith that she will approach every situation with brains and power. Congrats K, I'll miss you calling out my outfit choices and my ridiculously emotional moments. You are a best friend and I know that although you've left this office you still have to write Playing with Cards with me. Who knows, this may bring some new topics to the blog!

Best of luck!

Long live high-waisted pants!

Ah T, you said something that totally struck a chord with me: "Now my boyfriend hates them. He always points out how dated they look. "

My boyfriend hates some of my favorite clothes! I love high waisted pants - I think they flatter a curvy woman's figure way better than low riders do. I've worn high waisted pants for years and don't see myself changing anytime soon. I have these riding pants, in particular, from Zara, that I get tortured for. He and my family conintuously tease me about them, calling them my "horsey pants." Guess what, I LOVE MY HORSEY PANTS!

I've told him time and time again, "Sorry, I will not change my old lady pants for you!" Of course I also find outfits that I think he will like me in, but when it comes to the every day, I think we need to stick to our guns and wear what makes us comfortable. When it comes down to it, he understand that my personal style is what makes me feel good.

Just the other day he said to me: "If you feel great, you consider yourself to look good." - I guess he does know a thing or two :)

What We Imagine vs. What is Seen

Ok, so I have these pants that I love. They're from H & M and they are very cerca 1970. Now my boyfriend hates them. He always points out how dated they look. Do I care? No, I continue to try and make these pants work, because I imagine in my head this tall, slim woman with shaggy hair, with shaggy pants, and an awesome top (wow, first off, I am not tall, second, my hair is pin straight, third I don't own very many "awesome tops").

I've been close to giving up on this look, but then today I saw this post from Inspired by This an excellent blog about wedding insight, and she had posted about Emerson Made, a unique shop with eccentric and adorable clothing. There right in the middle of the page is exactly how I imagine myself in those jeans!

So here's why I'm writing this post. Not because I love my pants, but because there is a difference between how we imagine ourselves in an outfit and how we actually look in it. No, I am not anywhere near as tall as this model, however I can definitely do things to make this look work for me. I can wear shoes with a heal. I'll make sure to have a cute belt, and when I wear these jeans, I'll make sure my top is adorable and not flowy. Double flowy puts me in the 70's. I'm trying to avoid that.

I think the advice is this, while imagining your awesome self in the outfit you're getting ready to purchase, make sure it actually fits you, and that you'll keep up the dreamt look each time you wear it. Otherwise you just have another item in your closet for Salvation Army next year.

Tennis

Well K, you have really given the opportunity for a big discussion with that last post. There is one successful sport that is cross gender, and it's tennis. In 2000 the average salaries of the top ten tennis athletes was 1: .67 men to woman (Woman's Sports Foundation). In 2006 Maria Sharapova made $3.8 million while Roger Federer brought in $8.3 million (Ask Men).

Now to throw you a comparison, so you understand how great these numbers are look at basketball: the WNBA maximum salary is $87,000 and Shaquille O'Neal's 2006 salary was $20 million.

One simple answer to why the WNBA salary is so low, is that the viewer rate in comparison to the NBA is laughable. The NBA has been around for much longer than the WNBA and it's been very successful. WNBA had a late start, and to be honest I don't see very much promotion for it.

So why is tennis different? I actually think it has a lot to do with that the men and women play at the same time. For the US Open both genders compete (not against each other), but you know what I mean. The advertisements all go out together incorporating both genders. This gets fans interested in everything going on, not just the men.

I think it's similar to the Olympics. Since everyone's competing together we wind up watching both male skiing and female, male gymnastics and female. We realize we like both, and start rooting for the collective US, not just the men's gymnastic team or vice versa.

Now in the article from Woman's Sports Foundation they think the reason we like female tennis players is because they're "like you and me...Tennis can be mastered by women through commitment, effort, and talent. It's not a sport where by the tallest, biggest, or strongest athlete has inherent advantages". Well I don't believe this, because female golf players are no more taller than any other woman, and they still have a hard time rivaling men's golf.

I truly believe it has to do with timing and the fact that tennis women now play at the same time as the men. It also has to do with being around longer. Sorry ladies, but men established their professional teams a while ago, it's still going to take a long time to rival. But doing it by saying the athletes are nice? That's just a cop-out, I think golf should find a better way. I agree with K.

Playing with Approachability

An article posted today by AdAge talked about how the LPGA is launching its first ever brand campaign to gain more fans. With sponsors pulling out and viewership down, the women's golf organization needs a major boost.

They've picked a theme of "approachability," highlighting how these women are great golfers because of their accessibility to fans. Take a look at the spot below, which features a unique autograph experience with Natalie Gulbis.

My reaction: Really? That is supposed to get me to watch the LPGA? Why aren't they highlighting how badass these women are at golf? Sweetness isn't exciting when it comes to sports. I think it's especially important to emphasize their athletic skill because they are women. It's pretty safe to say that women are traditionally expected to take on the characteristics of warm, motherly and approachable and less expected to be incredible athletes. So why not bring the unexpected and focus on what they're really good at - golf?

Ok, the campaign aside, this is also an exposure issue. Most people simply aren't exposed to women's golf. According to the AdAge article, "of the 94 official rounds of golf played on the LPGA Tour in 2010, 38 were shown on tape delay and 11 rounds had no live TV coverage at all." That means over half of the rounds had no live coverage; instead, they were played at random times at night. Who watches golf at night? No one. It's a Sunday afternoon, chill on the couch with your family, kind of viewing experience. This statistic tells me that the potential for a strong fan base isn't necessarily impossible, they just haven't been tapped into yet.

Has LPGA ever even been given a shot to establish and prove its popularity? I don't think so.

#notsexy

I rarely look at my trends column on twitter, but for some reason today's caught my eye because in it was #notsexy #verysexy and #thatssexy. I was curious so I clicked first on #notsexy. Here's the examples of what I saw:

So then I clicked on #verysexy. It showed a lot of woman shouting out what they find sexy in guy. Interesting. As for the last trend: #thatssexy, this one has a mix of everyone throwing out what they find attractive.

So my curiosity drove me to try and figure out where this trend came from. I was unsuccessful but I did find an interesting article from The Independent that gave a little more information about the trend.

But again, where does this trend come from? And how come #notsexy and #verysexy have such opposite genders reacting so differently? It's interesting to see how the chance to point out the negative was scooped up by the male population of twitter, and how the positive the female. Maybe I should start paying more attention to trends on twitter.

Inspired by Tamara de Lempicka

I first saw Tamara de Lempicka's artwork at a club in Dublin and immediately fell in love. Unfortunately, there was so signature at the bottom of the print, and none of the staff knew where it came from. I saw her again at Cuff's in Boston's Back Bay Hotel, but once again there was no signature on the painting. Somehow I managed to search through enough "art deco" before I rediscovered her!

Lempicka glorified females in her work by nearly always painting the "provocative woman." She was also openly bisexual in the 1920s, which was rather scandalous for that time. I'm inspired by her because she was able to fearlessly expressed herself both personally and professionally. I think that's something we can all learn from.

Poker Face

I love these portraits by a New Orleanian artist Hayley Gaberlavage.

(Reposted from The Love List)

Express yourself

Yes, you are completely right, T. In October, I said "I love you" for the first time, and I was the first to say it. I think it's important to express yourself openly in a relationship, just like it's important to express yourself in a work setting. If you don't say what you believe, then know one will ever know it. Neither your boss nor your boyfriend are mind readers. So open up and express yourself ladies!

Attention Please!

Alright, so this post relates back to Gaga, but also to something a friend said to me today. She said "I love him, but I think he should say it first, you know". No I don't know. I also don't think he knows.

When Lady Gaga dresses up and does a show she is screaming for attention. She is calling out for everyone to stop what they are doing and check out her act. It works. It is so over the top, bazaar, and like K said, art directed. People take note, they look and wonder "what is she up to?".

How does this relate back to what my friend said? Men, well not just men, people in general are not mind readers. Gaga's act may be extreme but it gets people's attention. If you want to know if someone loves you back, say it first. If you are in an office scenario and you want something, it takes an act, it takes a move. Want to get promoted? You need to work hard, be your best, possibly kiss a little ass, maybe directly ask. Either way, whatever you do, it's an act.

Well friend, get him when he's looking, have his undivided attention, and let him know how you feel. Tell him you love him.

Lady Gaga and the Art of Fame

T and I talked about the issue of sex in advertising and pop culture the other night. We came to the conclusion that a lot of the issue has to do with who's behind the sex. In terms of music, is it the producer or the artist? T had a good point. She said to look at Lady Gaga. She is clearly the one behind her wacky/contraversial stunts. That's what makes it genuine and intersting. I was fascinated to hear her speak on 60 minutes last night and see how strategic she is about her career.

She talked on the sociology of fame and how so many people fail at it. As the "art director" of her life, she uses her costumes and strong political statements as a way to distract people from the things she'd rather keep private. She's full-disclosure and honest on so many topics, that it keeps her hungry "monsters" and the paparazzi under her control. Every public appearance she makes is calculated and purposeful, making her even more than a performance artist. She's a phenomenal business woman. She's the director of her own life and career.

After seeing her speak, I realized she's an amazing inspiration for all career women. Her philosophy is sort of the basis of this entire blog. We're trying to successfully art direct our lives in order to get ahead in advertising.

We actively direct our colleagues and bosses to see what we want them to see. In the past, I've dropped into conversation that I was going to different networking events or that I was asked to speak at another agency. Why not let your boss know that you're not a commodity? Why not let him know that you're well connected in town? As long as you stay honest and tasteful, it's both acceptable and helpful to your career.

How do you direct people's perceptions of you in the office?

Dishes @ Work

At our office we have serious issues with the dishes in the sink. Somehow K and I became the office dish washers, because we seem to be the only people it bothers.

Until someone else notices. But they don't ever wash them, they just send an email out requesting a wash. Since no one else will bight the bullet, K and I end up washing them.

I don't know about other offices, but how come at ours, no guy ever offers? Well today I pitched a fit and claimed that the guys love to point out what needs to be washed, but they never actually wash them.

Then the unbelievable happened. One of our junior level account managers washed the dishes. Then he sent out this email:

The bigger issue is why it's always the females of our office who end up washing the dishes. Part of my theory is that K and I happen to be people who don't talk about it, but we do it. Instead of complaining, we fix it. That is not gender specific though. I think what might be gender specific is that we care. Women tend to care about little things, and somehow the men don't even see the dishes. Or smell it. One might even argue that they just expect one of us women will clean them, because that's what usually happens.

Either way, today that guy made me smile. Thanks for washing the dishes!

T Ad Graffiti

This one really made me laugh:

The Threat of Ugg Boots

Personally don't own a pair. But this tweet definitely caught my eye. They are probably the number one most hated footwear by men. But women still love them, and still keep wearing them.

Kudos.

The Music Artist

K brings up a few questions that had my brain ticking about not just ads, but music artists. Madonna was one of the pioneers of "sex sells" music. Remember how provocative her music videos were considered?

Then came Brittany Spears and people started to wonder, how young is the music industry going to push it with "sex cells"?

Now today we have Rihanna. Her videos are like none I've ever seen before. Although I have to admit I don't watch music videos often, so maybe I'm a prude when it comes to this. But aren't they border line too much?

The bigger question is who's behind this? Is it the producers, or the artist? If it's the artist I completely respect her right to show off her body however she pleases. However, when it becomes the producers, something about a removed group of people deciding that a performer should be half naked in a video making moaning noises, concerns me.

What makes it ok? What makes it wrong? Like K says, where is the line?

Sex sells

When does the "sex sells" mentality go too far? Should we have the freedom to write an advertise anything we want? Should there be boundaries?

I have a lot of trouble answering these questions. I fully support the Libertarian notion of "Minimum Government, Maximum Freedom." I also support the idea that freedom should not come at the expense of hurting another person. So what does hurt mean? Physical? Psychological? Does objectification count?

I saw a NYT article today about Manga comic books, which originate in Japan. They depict young girls in sexual and compromising positions. People on one side of the fence call it perverted, others call it freedom of speech. I think it's perverted. I do. But does that go against my belief in freedom? This entry really didn't come to a conclusion - I just wanted to throw the topic out there and see where it leads. I'll ponder this one a bit more and reflect later.

What are your thoughts?

I want a Darth Vader child

T, I have to agree with you that most of the ads seem to be targeted at men, which is sort of funny because most of the women I know watch the Superbowl only for the ads (including myself). My pick of this year was Volkswagen's: The Force commercial. It featured the cutest little kid attempting to gather up the force within him to make objects move, turn on the car, etc. This spot actually made me want to have children (topic for another day). The thing I loved about it was the type of humor they used. T's right - a lot of the Super Bowl commercials use "boy club humor." I think a lot of advertisers forget that just because men love football, doesn't mean they're the only ones watching on Super Bowl sunday.

According to Treehugger, 40% of people watching the Super Bowl are not football fans. That's a serious number of people who don't fit the stereotype of sports fanatic or "bro." I think this is one of the reasons, VW's commercial was so successful (21,515,239 views on VW's YouTube channel alone). It wasn't a typical car commercial trying to entice men into buying a shiny object. It was a quirky, funny spot that captured something anyone could connect with: childhood. It brought us back to how we acted when we were little - how we thought we had the power to do anything - and that's special. It's a "force" to be reckoned with.

The Super Bowl

I admit my favorite part of the super bowl (besides the food and beer) are the ads. I find this ironic, because last night as I watched through my new Playing with Cards outlook, most of the ads were directed towards men (with very good reason since the target audience is majority male).

Then why do I like the ads so much? Here's an example of one of my favorites from last night:

It's the sense of humor. I downright love the stupid, over the top, border line slapstick humor of the Super Bowl ads. Does that mean I have the sense of humor of a man? Sometimes I think yes I do, and then I wonder if this is why I get along well as "one of the guys" with the cards I play. I understand men and women can have different levels of sensitivity, but I guess when it comes to humor, I tend to lack that. Funny is funny. I try not to worry about caring when I'm laughing.

This probably puts me in the "bitch" category, and perhaps I am one, but isn't that what we call successful women these days?

Dress Pick

H & M: $24.99: Cute, form fitting, and could go great with a light cardigan or jacket.

Being on Set (round 2)

Conveniently K wrote her post about being on set, on a day when I was actually on set. While reading her account I almost had to wrestle myself to the ground to not share it with everyone there.

Being a female on a video shoot is beyond challenging. While on set there is such "man talk". You know what I mean: dirty jokes, harsh words, sudden accents that weren't there before, etc. As the only female most times, I tend to go along with it by not cracking jokes of my own, but just lightly rolling my eyes or smiling. I never point out that it bothers me, or that it's not professional. Honestly, half the time I don't even pay attention I'm too busy working. This has caused me to be considered almost androgynous. When a dirty joke is said, the response is "oh it's only T she doesn't care", or "right T?" and then laughs. I have decided I don't mind this role, the not really a guy, but not really a girl position.

But that day I was offended twice over. First, because when I asked why K needed to be on set they said "we needed someone to represent female engineers, so we wanted a blonde, good-looking female". Well, good one guys, I'm blonde. I jokingly said why not me, and the response was "well it's you, you know, we needed like a more womanly person".

So there you have it. Offense number one. Due to the card I play on set, I am not "womanly" enough to play the only female engineer in a two second spot.

Offense number two was obviously how they proceeded to turn the only female engineer into the random blonde babe. It just didn't make sense, and it completely objectified us females. They said it was just to be funny, but the client didn't find it entertaining, and K was off the hook in the final edit.

The day was a learning experience. It's real interesting to see how the way we play our cards can create some unwanted outcomes, but you win some you lose some. That day we both lost a bunch.

Tweet of the day - Margaret Atwood

Let me start this off by saying, I adore Margaret Atwood's books (i.e. The Handmaid's Tale) Her tweets are just as awesome! She usually says the most ridiculous things. Here's my favorite one for today:

(http://angelasancartier.net/girdle)

Vanna White Incarnate

The article T posted actually made me think about how there's a fine line between "confident sexy" and "objectified sexy." Maybe the difference lies in who the sexy is for.

A few months back, our Assoc. Creative Director asked me to help out on a video shoot for one of our clients. (We'll call him Brian) He said they needed a blonde female so I agreed to participate and asked him what I should wear. Shortly after, I get the email from him explaining my wardrobe:

"Hey, so I'm thinking your most vanna white-lookin' dress/skirt getup. Sound good?" - Brian

My initial thought: "Are you fucking kidding me?" So I obviously responded with this picture:

Anyway, the next day rolled around and I brought a variety of different "sexy" dresses. T actually ended up solidifying my downfall by bringing a stretchy, slinky, sparkly black dress that they all said I Must wear. Just to paint the picture better, T is taller and thinner than me. I'm legit curvy. This dress would be straight up Vanna White on Wheel of Fortune.

I change into the dress and come out to the set, obviously self-concious considering there's a slew of geeky engineers, colleagues and my boss standing there staring. At first, it wasn't so bad because they just asked me to saunter across the set during one of the scenes. It really wasn't a big deal. I understood they just wanted a random pretty girl for one of the lines in the script. Hell, I was a bit flattered they asked.

Then it got weird.

They asked me to pose on one of the chairs on the set for a few photos. I sware it felt like everyone was staring at me. They're all standing around, gawking, telling me to show more leg, etc. It was humiliating. And to top it all off, my boss Tweeted a picture of me! Without my permission!

The whole thing seriously made me feel objectified and dirty. I mean, this is my place of work. These are the people who are supposed to respect me and my opinions. I recognize that it's parially my fault for letting them get away with it. The problem is that once I signed up for it, I had to be a good sport. If I didn't cooperate with a smile on my face, I would have been the annoying prude who can't take a joke or have fun. Who wants to be that person in the office?

So I guess I'm asking where we draw that line? When do we lose our integrity at the price of being "easy to work with"?

Fashion and Women

Often times people hear the word feminist and they picture drab clothing, no lipstick, effortless women. This is not true anymore. Today's feminists might not even be aware that they are an active feminist at all, and probably love dressing up great as much as any woman who wears heels and lipstick. Here's an interesting article by Lisa Armstrong from The Sunday Times. She brings up the age old question, doesn't dressing good and wearing those heels make us woman feel empowered, and "give great pleasure"? Is it quite possible that fashion is still the one thing woman hold over men? Read her article and see how you feel.

Fashion is still a feminist issue

Did Miuccia Prada really say after last week’s show in Milan that she was a former feminist? I lent in closer.

Yes, that’s what she’d said all right. “Feminism?” she sighed, “it doesn’t really exist anymore does it?”

The British journalists listening to her exchanged knowing smiles and later agreed that, even more than an upwardly mobile set of sales figures next quarter, perhaps what Miuccia Prada really needs to lift her spirits is a copy of Natasha Walter’s latest bookLiving Dolls: The Return of Sexism. Not that it makes particularly uplifting reading for those who haven’t abandoned the feminist cause. But at least it’s addressing the case.

How depressing it must be to live in Berlusconi’s Italy. Four-ply cashmere and sex scandals on tap but no decent debate about women’s roles in society. The land that gave us the Renaissance and Visconti is now engaged in a dialogue about women’s sexuality that begins and ends with Donatella Versace’s and Pucci’s slashed-to-the-thigh, plunging-to-the-navel aesthetics.

Arguably the Donatella Look has been one of Italy’s most successful cultural exports in recent years. It’s all over Britain and America — marginally less so in France — and flourishing in Australia and South America. Let’s not blame Donatella though. We lapped it up.

Fashion magazines embraced a mode of (un)dressing they dubbed porno-chic.

Laced with irony and layers of contradiction (some conscious, others less so) the once shocking porno-chic filtered down — minus, naturally, the irony.

Porn-star hair extensions, porn-star lips, porn-star white-tipped nails, sex shop bondage shoes, fetish underwear, T-shirts for teens with Porn Star emblazoned across them, halternecks for tots, bum-revealing jeans and lashings of black-studded leather. “When did women start dressing like prostitutes?” a well-known theatre producer asked me at a Bafta dinner recently. I licked my lipgloss coated lips uneasily. It’s gloopy and tacky — but I’m addicted.

So it looks as though, in 2010, even lipgloss is political again. OnWomen’s Hour the other week, Jane Garvey asked whether it’s possible to wear lipstick and be a feminist. Not that old canard, I thought. Don’t people realise that sometimes what seems oppressive — high heels, corsets — can also, for reasons of status and (self) control, give great pleasure?

Can’t they see that fashion and beauty are two industries in which women operate on an equal (or possibly superior) level to men? Just look at Helena Rubinstein. Or Elizabeth Arden, Estée Lauder, Coco Chanel and, more recently, Donna Karan, Diane von Furstenberg and, for that matter, Donatella. On the other hand, women on the lowest rungs of the fashion ladder — in the sweatshops — might not feel so empowered by their labour. Or perhaps they do — knowing that they could have even more exploitative jobs, in the sex industry for instance.

But Garvey has a point. Clothes and cosmetics can still unsettle — just look at the kerfuffle over Katie Price’s decision to lard her two-year-old daughter’s face in blusher, lipstick and false eyelashes.

Everything we consume — no matter how right-on — brings with it another set of dilemmas. The anti-fashion dungarees of Seventies feminists were mighty impractical when it came to going to the loo (plus the androgynous aspect drove some men wild). As for the thrift shop coats and trilbies — weren’t they part of a mainstream drift towards vintage, most famously defined by Annie Hall? Even when we kick against the fashion system, we end up adopting a fashionable boot.

The power to unsettle is good by the way. Part of fashion’s job is to challenge society’s norms. Sometimes it does this in the only way it knows — pendulum swings that last one season. It’s hard to say whether Prada’s latest demure, almost prim (and all the more erotic for it), collection will stick. Marc Jacobs pulled off a similar trick the week before in New York and the fashion editors, for the most part, swooned. Grown-up, covered-up clothes at last. Only Luke Leitch, my esteemed colleague, demurred. Didn’t I think, he asked, that all those folds of fabric might, actually, be anti-feminist, or at least anti-female, or at least anti the female body? I haven’t decided, but at least fashion is asking some interesting questions.

Short Skirts

Yes, it's true I tend to wear pants over skirts because I had a very strict mom growing up who insisted on not letting me wear clothing that made me look "slutty". This included anything too far above the knees and string tank tops. Somehow this, and her ban of soda, managed to stick. I am extremely uncomfortable in skirts that are too far above my knees. I not only have long legs for my torso but since I'm on the thinner side they start to look stringy. I therefore never combine short dresses and heels at work because I find that people spend more time looking at my legs than taking me seriously.

Now to make sure you all understand K's dress length I made a diagram to prove that the dress is not that ridiculously short, if it was I would have told her immediately to go home and change! There is a fine line between playing the "sexy" card, and looking like a fool. K does not cross that line with this dress. It looks very classy and adorable on her.

Now If I were to wear this dress it would fall about halfway on the thighs, and yes, this is too short for me at work. Sorry K no time soon will I be borrowing this dress!

Fashion and cards

You forgot to mention why you always choose to wear pants to work. I do love pants, but for meetings, events, etc., I actually like dresses better. They show off my legs, I can wear tights and cute boots, and it always looks comfortably dressy. T was just telling me the other day how she doesn't like wearing skirts above her knee because it shows off her legs too much (hers are much longer than my 5'2" figure). It seems that our personal styles are truly affected by the cards we play in the office. What do you think, T?

Check out my new favorite dress from Zara. Mind you, that dress doesn't look quite so short on me!